This blog is the public view into a musician's mind.

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Wednesday, June 11, 2003
Rroland to play the Flambé' Lounge , Sat. June 28th. Located at the artspace Crucible a metallurgy factory. After reading the flyer on the site, I have decided to makeup as Hermes, my favorite "God" and the one I most identify with. Not sure about the clothes but decided to paint my face two-tone, and of course my right arm the same (monophonic synth, played with one hand et al)

Wednesday, May 07, 2003
it's been quite a while since i posted last, a war has started and supposedly ended, photoblogs have replaced pedestrian ones like this....and the FCC is writing laws to consolidate all US media and stifle the little guys like me. well, i had the opportunity to testify before an FCC chairman during a public comment period at a hearing regarding this matter, my statement follows:
Hello, my name is Rroland. I am a composer and am signed to and represent the independent record label American Patchwork. American Patchwork is a curatorial project, which features new music by alternative artists. We have artists on our label from across the US. Our artist’s genres range from classical experimental, to folk, to electronic pop. All of our artists produce music that is uplifting, thoughtful and sweet. Our mission is to bring joy and diversity to the public. We believe the FCC should not allow any further consolidation of media. As performing artists we rely on all forms of media to promote our sound. We also rely on independently owned venues to showcase our music. Any consolidation of television, radio and print media would place a large amount of power in the hands of a small group which will look at the bottom line of profits as the determining factor in coverage in various media. We believe this will severely limit our American public’s exposure to new and inspirational music. Therefore we ask the FCC and chairman Powell to not listen to the needs of a few corporations and pass this proposed consolidation, but to instead promote an environment wherein the American people can continue to find joy in the new music of it’s own composers and artists. Thank you.

Besides myself and one of the panelists Brother J (a hip-hop artist) there were no other speakers in either the group of panelists nor in the public that were musical artists, so I’m glad I took the time to do this. Also after finding out that commissioner Adelstein is a musician I gave him a Rroland sampler after the hearing. He responded to me that he wanted to make sure "you guys get heard".. He also said in his closing statement that he was very impressed by the public turnout in San Francisco, and that he would bring our comments and concerns to the FCC meetings regarding this decision, and make it clear to the chairmen that no one in the bay area supports consolidation. so there it is, in addition to marching, meeting networking and playing out, i have also been busy...trying to represent

Friday, December 27, 2002
all though they all mean well...i'll never take prozac, zoloft, or any of the others. i need access to my emotional center...hello??

Wednesday, October 09, 2002
in the disaster of my morning I awoke to death. he wore a big hat. he laughed at my cognition. he deemed me mad. i cannot love i cannot hate, without a full investigation. my curiosity billows as a cloud from my lungs...sputter block, decipher, invent, meditate, what began what will end?

Tuesday, June 18, 2002
So the other day I was interviewed, for 2 and 1/2 hours! It was the first time I was interviewed as Rroland. It was interesting and I was ready for a chess game. I had an outline ready, so I could kind of steer the direction of the interview, if needed. But Kimberley was a professional, she had some prepared questions and knew what she wanted to ask. I had fears before the interview happened that family, work and therapeutic issues might come up and cloud the focus of the interview. I had some strategies prepared like, if she mentions work, steer it towards Patchwork, if she mentions family steer it towards Patchwork, etc. Well none of the fancy footwork was needed. It all came out, after all I am basically a simple, honest man. I may have sly imaginings about manipulation, but I know inside to let the universe take control. Especially if the universe is a woman. So it was very much an honest detailed interview, covering my past in this life, my past in past lives, my influences, etc. It was a great interview and I thank Kimberley for her time, and I hope to link to it from here when it comes out.

Thursday, June 13, 2002
In my previous post I spoke of the "American values" of suffering and martyrhood. I sited Christianity and slavery as sources. Well I'm sure some readers (if any??) were offended, particulary with the slavery reference. I am trying to start a debate. My point is that in America we latch onto a historical event and carry it around as if it is a determining factor in our behavoir in the now. This is a seed of supervictimhood. If a more Superflat view was taken it would be a given that the past holds embarassing events of cruelty, etc. but in the now, they don't exsist. We are all flattened, we are all consumers, subjects of a government, taxed, lovers, capable of hearing and learning. There is a way of feeling special in the littlest moment and tasks. It is a deep feeling, not like the orgastic rush of victimhood.

Friday, June 07, 2002
Supervictims take on Superflat! There is a writer named Nicholas Currie. He is a philosopher as well. He is also a bullfighter of the mind. He writes essays that challenge you like a red flag, and inside each is a barb, which will be final as to your pre-conceptions. Over the course of 2 or 3 months Nick wrote two essays Superflat, and Supervictims. The parallels between these two essays show the stunning differences between two cultures, Japanese and American. In the essay Superflat , Christianity and Rock are the external forces impinging on Japanese culture. But the invaders are transformed by the inherent philosophies of Buddhism and simplicity into a magna, a cartoon character, a small snap of transcendence. In the essay Supervictims, the American values of suffering and martyrhood (source Christianity, slavery), are exposed as really a means to an end of profit. Be it style or not, big rap stars or fidgeting emotionally abused consumers, our media will serve us up a good dose of differentiation. Of course I tried to stir up something on the Momus newsgroup, and have no reponders. So if you want to play go to the Momus Newsgroup,
And help me grow this discussion.

Thursday, May 30, 2002
humiliation of a salaryman: I am sick of not being who I am, sounds odd? I am a composer, I am a musician, I am an artist. Not an administrative assistant, parking valet, tax slave. I am feeling so rebellious! I have been so patient. I have tried so long. I am really really really glad to have an LP out on Am Patch. I wish the world were different, I wish it paid to be me, really me.

Tuesday, May 28, 2002
DAY EIGHT: clean and drinking green, tea, liquid barley extract, aloe juice. I'm getting healthy and ready for the tour. I spent the whole weekend working up a Bowie cover I hope to play while on the road, no lyrics, just the SH09 as the Thin White dude's voice.
It's going to be fun!

Thursday, May 23, 2002
DAY FOUR: still no cigarettes! And not that hostile either. The show went well at the poster room. I was sound wallpaper. I kept my levels real low so the crowd could eat, drink and socialize. I think they'll have me back, and someday, maybe, I can play the main stage and open for a great talent like "Crystal Method", let's keep a good thought.

Tuesday, May 21, 2002
DAY TWO:no cigarettes. Tonight Rroland (me) is playing at the Fillmore Auditorium in San Francisco. I am in the poster room, a lounge/diner in the upper floors. I am feeling HOSTILE! I am taking a homeopathic remedy to overcome withdrawal, but tonight I am going to unleash my intense rage upon my audience. Poor suckers...also I am preparing for my usual post-performnace depression. Which always leaves me kind of staring into the distance at odd times in the middle of a conversation. All those wonderful fanatisies, all these beautiful women. All those years alone. I mean I want to stay positive, and draw the right person, but the reality of life is not a new age concoction of desires and actions, it's about money, ageism, position, looks. ARRGH, maybe I'm too fringe, who needs relationships?

Monday, May 20, 2002
death, what is it? how do we discover it? can we walk through it untouched? I have re-visited many of my past deaths, and it was strange, but out of it came an LP. Now I am walking out of a physical death. Last summer when I went to NYC, I realized that death was New York. And that California, is all about life, with the sun, the climate and the tofu. But in New York, you can drink and smoke in restaurants and bars. Therefore I deemed this an excellent opportunity to experiment with the fringe and start smoking again! So I did, I bought imported cigarettes made with cloves, Turkish tobacco, English tobacco, Canadian tobacco, I tried em all. I settled with "Rothmans" because they are the official tobacconists to the Queen. Well it's been almost 10 months and...cough..I QUIT! One of my main reasons to quit was inspiration from Momus: he hates smoke, would rather not talk with anyone who does smoke, and since I am going on part of a tour with him, I thought it would be a good time to quit. Plus now my clothes and car won’t smell. BUT WAIT! Momus appears to have accepted and even be relishing death. In his new death essay he has gone all out, professing his fascination with the early stages of death in pop culture. Could this be stretched into tobacco usage by Momus, if so what brand would he smoke? I’d say he’d probably roll his own.

Friday, January 25, 2002
what a whirlwind past two months it's been! i have pulled up roots and moved 200 miles south back to my home San Francisco, got a new job, and am now producing a couple of Cds. On for the almighty Lord Nasty another for Eric who runs the Demon Lounge. I recorded several shows for him there (including Rroland and the aka James (reading Ted Hughes over synth distortion)), as well as Rollerball and Bill Horist. The project is for a label that wants to compile live underground US music for release in Europe. I am also reading more physics, specific experiments that helped open up the field of quantum physics, and it is facinating, but a real brain-stretch. Art exhibitions and late night galleries abound, I'm so happy to be back.

Wednesday, November 14, 2001
Well here I am midnight, I’m damned dosed: coffee, mochas, chocolate truffles, and cola. I don’t know what got into me the last few days, the whole bioterrorism threat makes it really easy to brazenly fall into bad habits of consumption,( or at least bad for me)…but on a musical note I am about to get a new Roland synth the sh09 monotone analog. It has a real cool design over the keys that says synthesizer 09…number nine, number nine. I’m excited because now I’ll have a note bender (one of the first probably)., and I’ll have a new challenge as well. I started recording new material about a month ago. I noticed I was coming up with similar sounds that I found on "reflections", I do want to still use the sh3a, perhaps as part of the virtual-drum-un-sequencer but the new stuff is going to require some more swishy whooshy stuff which I hope to find in the sh09

Wednesday, November 07, 2001
i walked into Amoeba records, "do you have Rroland, spelled with two rs?"..."reflections on a past life, that is in rock under r, probably misc. (another hurdle, to get my own CD divider thingy). there it is one copy, at first i was surprised that there was only one, then a friend who worked at a large store informed me that they would usually order about five, the date was 10/25/01, three days after the release, so thanks for the purchases! as the charts go the darla top 50 had me bouncing between 19 and 23, until i basemented at my current 31. you know this really shouldn't matter to me, and it doesn't. i can’t live by the charts or the critics, i know cause i am quite a good one. in fact i was just thinking that the new Rroland music is very much a child's dare, to hang your self on a simple melody and put it out there in the mix with sparse accompaniment . my own pop critic would have cloaked the melodic origin in vocals, delays, instrumentation of the pop format, i was doing a bad thing i admit it, i took an inspiration and conceptualized it. when i made the first EP of “reflections”, I gave it to Nick. i really liked it, and hoped he would, but i had doubts for the above reasons, that it wasn’t going to work to anyone else ears but mine, luckily someone heard me.